This past weekend Jay and I went to the beautiful island of Koh Samet off the eastern coast of Thailand. My rough draft of this blog consisted of me listing each detail of our weekend. I found this quite boring and it lacked luster until I got to the part about toilets. I began to write avidly about the toilets we met along the roadway to and from Koh Samet so, I kept that bit and flushed the rest. (GET IT?!? Oh, how I love potty humour.)
When I think of a toilet I think of this:
He is so happy that he is giving you the thumbs up. Aggies do that when they are happy, too.
I always took the porcelain throne for granted but I no longer do.
At our first of many roadway pit stops I nonchalantly walked towards the restrooms. The gas station was a newly constructed western style looking gas station that would of course have western style restroom facilities, of course. Silly farang thoughts.
I was instead met with this sign:
A bit of foreshadowing with signs demonstrating proper toilet usage.
“Whatever did they mean not to stand on regular toilets?” I thought innocently.
A longer line was forming at one set of stalls so I took the shorter line (because why would you not in the ladies restroom?!?). I looked around for a minute at the other ladies I was in line with wondering if they took note of the strange sign. No one seemed phased so, I waited with my personal package of toilet paper (many rest stops along Thai motorways did not provide you with any). I was thinking ahead with my personal toilet tissues and I was proud of myself.
Finally, a stall was made available and I ventured in. I was met with this:
Of course I took a photo. No need to use your foot to flush girls! Instead use the little bucket to the left to scoop up water and manually flush. Now, imagine how many other hands touch that little scoops handle. BWAHAHAHAHAHA etc. etc. etc!
I laughed and looked around my stall for another way. I had prepared for bringing my own toilet paper but I wasn’t prepared for this. WHY?!? Silly farang thoughts again.
I was left with two choices: exit stall, wait in the long line for what I can only assume now are “regular” toilets or just go for it.
So, I went for it and I was oddly proud of myself.
I left my stall cursing Eve and using all my hand sanitizer since soap is also not provided at rest stops along Thai motorways. My clean freak self was quietly having a melt down and wishing for even more hand sanitizer to shower in.
I could not have said it better myself.
Looking back, I feel like I broke down a small barrier between westerner and Thai culture. It’s not the language barrier but at least it’s something we all do.
Now, I also have a rad conversation starter when I want to illustrate how utterly worldly I am.
Example of said conversation starter by backpacker Beth:
“Dude, in Thailand there are toilets that are built into the ground with grooves on each side of the hole for your feet. When you get down to business you have to pray the entire time that you don’t accidently hit your shoes. HA! Isn’t that rad? It’s super interesting and I felt really Thai, yeah man, super Thai. I mean, like, I was using the restroom Thai style. You even have to bring your own tissues and soap. Yeah, man it’s super earthy. I felt like I was one with the earth.”
….not really but you see how it could be an interesting conversation from there on out. Squatting is also supposedly better for you.
Almost too much information. What is that pink rubberband thing?!?
I guess I am for the “chokes the rectum” position.
The potty drama made the trip to and from Koh Samet that much more educational and interesting. I can’t wait to bring any visitors we have down to the beautiful island and allow you to experience first hand the call of nature Thai style along the way. Well, except for men.
Curse you Eve.
I couldn’t have said it better myself, Eve. BUY THIS SHIRT: http://www.randomshirts.com/products/my-bad-eve